The best part of waking up...

If you can finish that sentence then you can probably understand how truly magical that first sip of coffee is when you wake up. No matter how much coffee you drink during the rest of the day, none of it will quite match that first sip. Unlike most people though, I begin my caffeine infusion in the wee hours of the morning while I am still working on articles and before I've even been to sleep. I'm an incurable insomniac so I've just adjusted to getting my work done at night.

I am astounded, even at this hour, how quiet it is here now. The teen is staying with a friend and Gina took the babies and left when I found out for sure she was pregnant and had been drinking all along. I haven't seen the babies since Mother's Day when I went to baby Jeffery's birthday party. (From which his mother was absent). I know, you are probably thinking "she's deaf, it's always quiet!" Well, not quite. I am about 80% deaf but there is no mistaking a two year old outside pounding on your bedroom door and yelling; "Gamma, nandy!" That would have been my Grand daughter Loveyah wanting in for her daily treat from my candy stash. Maybe quiet is the wrong word. It's empty. There is a part of me that wants to just put my head back and sigh, then relax and enjoy. There is that other part that just feels uneasy. All is not right in the world and I miss those babies. I miss the relationship I thought I had with their mother.

I have been parenting for over 30 years now and under the circumstances, an otherwise welcome retreat seems awkward and painful. I try to keep myself busy with work, Squidoo and article submission but as soon as I stop, my mind recalls the moments of being raised by alcoholic parents and knowing that my grand babies will be too unless something changes. Oddly enough, I don't drink.

It's nice being able to leave my bedroom door open without worrying that one of the babies will come in and get into things but all things considered, for me; the best part of waking up was seeing those precious faces of my grand kids.