The best part of waking up...

If you can finish that sentence then you can probably understand how truly magical that first sip of coffee is when you wake up. No matter how much coffee you drink during the rest of the day, none of it will quite match that first sip. Unlike most people though, I begin my caffeine infusion in the wee hours of the morning while I am still working on articles and before I've even been to sleep. I'm an incurable insomniac so I've just adjusted to getting my work done at night.

I am astounded, even at this hour, how quiet it is here now. The teen is staying with a friend and Gina took the babies and left when I found out for sure she was pregnant and had been drinking all along. I haven't seen the babies since Mother's Day when I went to baby Jeffery's birthday party. (From which his mother was absent). I know, you are probably thinking "she's deaf, it's always quiet!" Well, not quite. I am about 80% deaf but there is no mistaking a two year old outside pounding on your bedroom door and yelling; "Gamma, nandy!" That would have been my Grand daughter Loveyah wanting in for her daily treat from my candy stash. Maybe quiet is the wrong word. It's empty. There is a part of me that wants to just put my head back and sigh, then relax and enjoy. There is that other part that just feels uneasy. All is not right in the world and I miss those babies. I miss the relationship I thought I had with their mother.

I have been parenting for over 30 years now and under the circumstances, an otherwise welcome retreat seems awkward and painful. I try to keep myself busy with work, Squidoo and article submission but as soon as I stop, my mind recalls the moments of being raised by alcoholic parents and knowing that my grand babies will be too unless something changes. Oddly enough, I don't drink.

It's nice being able to leave my bedroom door open without worrying that one of the babies will come in and get into things but all things considered, for me; the best part of waking up was seeing those precious faces of my grand kids.

Keeping busy

The next round of Giant Squids and Giant 100 Squids are coming up and I am working on that. I currently have 103 lenses and I am going through and trying to polish up some of the older ones with newer modules and updated information. I've also added a couple of new lenses.

As a challenge to keep my mind off of the family drama going on, I've also joined the 30 hubs in 30 days challenge at hubpages. My first hub for the challenge is Dammit Dolls. I think it turned out pretty well.

I have been writing more articles for dailyarticles and I also am checking out some constant content bids.

If you are not familiar with Squidoo-you should be. You can check it out here (it's fun, fast and free!) Squidoo

Decisions

Well, my Grandson had his first birthday party (sans his mother) and Sunday was supposed to be "back to work" for me. I've been wrestling with quitting that job for a long time because now they are asking me to write things that just go against my grain. Yes, I am a writer and yes, I can present different points of view. But, when asked to write articles such as "Larry the Cable Guy" and some connection with the New World Order, it just doesn't make sense to me. Nor does writing a 1000 word article on a humorous aspect of "popping zits". Not for what they pay me, sorry!

I now have over 100 lenses on Squidoo and I want to do some major polishing of some of my older lenses. I see a lot that can be done with some of my older lenses that I have not visited in a while. I also want to start making my "Squid Kits" which should be a lot of fun. More info on those later.

I have joined the 30 hubs in 30 days challenge at hubpages too. It is an experiment to see just how many have increased incomes as a result of the challenge. I already have an idea of what to do some of the hubs about so it should be fun.

Writing more articles on dailyarticle.com is something else I have been doing as I have had good luck selling articles there. All of this and more I do because I just can't stand seeing my assignments any more from work. More ridiculous and absurd with each passing day and certainly not worth the small change I am paid! I'll keep you all posted on how the income stats change with all of this going on.

Another day in wonderland...

My daughter is still somewhere, with the kids but there is good news; I got ALL of the babies (including the unborn) on medicaid and it is in MY name. I'm just going to let this play out and see what happens when the baby is born.

I am thinking very seriously of doing the 30 hubs in 30 days or even the 100 hubs in 30 days. It is sort of an experiment by someone to see how much revenue is generated. I figured I would do the hubs but I would do a lens about doing the hubs.

I am putting a few new things together including Easy Peasy Squid Kits. I cannot say much about them until I have one done and can show pictures, but I think lensmasters will like them. I hope so anyway. I am accepting fillers to go into the kits though so contact me if you are interested.

For those of you who are not yet creating squidoo lenses (web-pages) you simply MUST try it out. I can almost guarantee you will become addicted. For English; PRESS ONE.

On a personal note: Grandparent rights

Probably not the wisest thing to do on a blog but I'm going personal here. Many of the people who read my blog are Grandparents, so if nothing else, may understand.

My oldest daughter is newly 22, 8 months pregnant with her third child (oldest is 2 1/2) and is an alcoholic. She didn't drink with the other two but has steadily with this one. She has been lying to me about it (they live with me) for 8 months when I have confronted her many times asking her if she was pregnant. The reason she hasn't admitted it? Apparently, it's none of my business!! Oh, and she is giving the baby up...she doesn't care who gets him, doesn't want to see him or keep up with him after he is born.

My older two grand children have lived here their entire lives and I adore them, naturally. I am currently doing the hardest thing I've ever had to do and that is telling my daughter that if this baby is none of my business, then neither is her having a place to stay. She is throwing MY Grandson away like a used tampon, drinking like a fish while pregnant with him and lying to everyone. My babies that I have had with me since birth are probably going to be taken away from me and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever envision this happening. This was my "good" daughter. The one who never missed school and who (up until she met the kids dad) dated guys I could at least tolerate. My Grand kids are the joy of my life. I have housed them and fed them since they were born and their own mother is treating me like this! Forget how she is treating me...she may be killing her own child! Grandparents should have more rights, children should be able to stay with biological grandparents if able. (I am only 48) Parental rights should only go so far as protecting parents who have proven capable of making good judgment calls in the past. Drinking while pregnant is not a good judgment call.

So today I confronted her and she left...with the grand babies. Probably getting drunk. I feel like my heart is on the floor, open and oozing and she is running around pouring alcohol on the knife. So, the woman who is usually cheerful, usually witty; instead is broken hearted and feels helpless. I don't want to lost my babies.